Post Script
Though these are the last three poems, that was one more that said good-bye to this last lost love. It was set a drift upon a river in a little box and I watched it go down the river until it could be seen no more. I sent my heart and soul with it and that ended it all. I do not remember what it said nor do I want to.
I THINK NOT
Twin of my soul?
I think not.
If it were true,
You would know what
I feel and care about
Those feelings.
But you do not even
Give me looks that
Acknowledge that I
Am even in your
Presence.
Do you hope that I
Will some how
Disappear from your
Life?
I have no idea as to
What you are even
Thinking or feeling.
I find that I haven’t
A clue at to who you
Are now.
I wish I could seperate
The dream I fell in
Love with from the
Person I now see.
C.D.RANSOM
LOVE IS NOT
Stop writing Asshole!
It is time to ignore
That which ignores
You.
Set your heart free.
If it wanted you,
You would have it.
Love is not for you.
Forget that such a
Thing exist.
It is all just a
Nightmare.
Someday it will be
Over.
C.D.RANSOM
3-24-96
NO MORE.
NO MORE.
Must stop
This writing.
Until this love
Is reciprocated.
I do not give a damn
About what I feel
If it is not.
NOW STOP.
NO MORE WRITING.
C.D.RANSOM
I MUST MAINTAIN
I must maintain my distance.
For I know you will try it
Again with —.
I know he will try to be better
This time.
I know he will fail to live up
To what you want.
Will you then wonder if I can
Be what you have dreamed of?
You set your men up to fail.
Will you try to do that with me?
I will not play games with you.
As much as you are able to
Weaken my defences,
I am strong enough still to be
Who I am at heart.
C.D.RANSOM
LOVE POEM 19
Smile with love in your eyes.
And I am lost that easily.
C.D.RANSOM
FOR MYSELF
NO, DAMN IT!
Do not do this with your heart.
If she had any real desire to be
With you,
She would have talked with you.
She cried to come home.
But to her family, friends and ex.
NOT YOU!
Not one word to you.
Strange, but as soon as you
Decided to let go of her in
Your mind,
She returns to your life.
I begin to believe that she is
Just one more torment for the
Ace of Spades to live through.
Remember,
She has read the words of your
Heart and soul.
“Nice paper work” was all that
Was said about it.
She knows what you feel.
And yet she has left you out of
The picture of her life.
REMEMBER THIS!
For if she wanted you,
She would have let you know!
Do not forget this!
Drive it into your mind!
For the heart is weak.
C.D.RANSOM
AGE PROBLEM
I finally really wish
I was 20 to 25 years
Younger.
For then the difference
In our ages wouldn’t be
A problem I know it to be.
Well there is nothing
That can be done about it.
Too bad, for I know it would
Have been wonderful anyway.
C.D.RANSOM
CAN’T STOP WRITING
Can I never stop this insistent
Writing that I do?
The words go nowhere.
The emotions go nowhere.
I just wate time, paper and ink.
No, I guess that’s not quite true.
The emotions do get eased when
The words finally end up in the
Computers memory.
But so much time is definitely
Wasted.
Hours are spent in the writing.
More hours are spent in the putting
What has been written into the
Computer.
And then I never read really read
Them again.
Well over 100 of these I have
Written now just because of
You.
In a round about way you are
Ahead of my ex-wife she has
Also about the same, but not
As many as you.
And you and I have yet to kiss
Or even hold hands.
Yes, you are definitely something
And someone special in my life.
I wonder why?
It things happen for a reason,
What reason are you in my life?
C.D.RANSOM
DEAD FAIRY TALE
Well I see I was right
In some respects.
At least in the way
Your thinking goes.
You are not here yet,
At least totally.
Sounds like this is
Just another false
Alarm.
You are thinking of
An old Him again if
You stay around.
I knew you would.
I knew I wasn’t an
Option in any plans
For your future.
I think I should ask
For my poems back.
They will be a liabilty
To you if you keep
Them and stay here.
Anyway, they have
Served no useful
Purpose.
It would make a good
Ending to what has
Been a waste of my
Time and emotions.
The fairy take is over.
We did not live together
Happily ever after.
THE END
C.D.RANSOM
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