Dansideas's Blog

July 5, 2009

What Is It?

Filed under: Last Lost love — Tags: , , , , , , , , — dansideas @ 9:56 pm


So tell me my lonely empty soul,
Just what is it you see in that
Young woman that makes you feel
That she is yours hearts desire?
Is it the innocence of her soul?
Is it the absolute joy in her face
When she smiles?
Is it the deep sorrow of her eyes
When she is sad and hurt?
Is it the desire to be the father of
Her child that might fill the hole
Left by the death of my own father
When I was younger than hers?
Is it the thought of sexual fulfillment?
Is it the sharing of activities that
Will fill our days?
Is it the thought of two open
Romantic souls coming together
To fill the empty longing that has
Gnawed at us since birth?
The only thing I know is that my
Longing is deeper than hers.
For mine has been around for more
Than twice hers in time.


A Glimpse

Filed under: Last Lost love — Tags: , , , , , , , , — dansideas @ 9:46 pm


Forty seven and a half years
I have walked this Earth.
Almost all of it alone and I
Think all of it alone in my
I am not sure if I have ever
Felt love.
Loved in such away that one
Knows without question or
Fear of loves reality.
I watch what passes for love
Amongest the people I have
Known and feel that I caught
A glimpse of it only once.
It was beautiful,
It filled my heart with such
For I do not have it.
Also with sadness,
For I want all mankind to
Have it too.
I no longer search for love.
If it is meant to be in my life,
It will come.


Filed under: Last Lost love — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — dansideas @ 9:31 pm


My tears fall and my heart
Breaks as I watch the caged
Cat pace.
The sleek black fur glistens.
Angry looks and sounds emit
Forth from behind the bars
Of its prison.
The yearning need it feels to
Be free and running in its
Home enviroment,
Free to be itself.
Not locked up and bound by
The needs of Humans who
Must satisfy their own needs
And wants at the expense of
All other things.
Yes, my tears fall and my
Heart breaks.
For I and the Panther are one
In our hearts.
Both of us are caged.

Love Poem 4

Filed under: Last Lost love — Tags: , , , , , , , , — dansideas @ 9:22 pm

Your love I want,
But afraid a friend
Is all I’ll be.

Love Poem 5

Filed under: Last Lost love — Tags: , , , , , , , , — dansideas @ 9:19 pm


I don’t know whether I
Should laugh or cry.
The absurdity of it all
Is almost just to much
To bear.
I try to chose laughter,
But the pain is to
Overbearing to do
Anything but cry.

Love Poem 6

Filed under: Last Lost love — Tags: , , , , , , , , — dansideas @ 9:10 pm


If she stumbles
I will leave.
For I cannot watch,
Knowing it will
Come again.

Love Poem 7

Filed under: Last Lost love — Tags: , , , , , , , , — dansideas @ 9:03 pm


I need to walk away from this.
I think I need to save what’s
Left of my heart.
There are not very many
Pieces left and I will be dead
Without it.

The Ace Speaks

Filed under: Last Lost love — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — dansideas @ 8:59 pm


A sad poet I no longer wanted
To be.
So here again I am to write
The anguish of my heart and
It would seem that the fates
Have once again brought me
Back into the fold of my
Seemingly lot in life.
The Ace of Spades is truly
My card.
The end reward had better
Be well worth the life I live.
For if it is not,
I will do my damnedest to
Destory whatever it is that
Seems to run this thing called
Such cruelty to all deserves
A death sentence.

All Or Nothing

Filed under: Last Lost love — Tags: , , , , , , , , — dansideas @ 8:45 pm


Damn it woman.
Do you know what your doing to me?
I want you so much and it appears
You need me only when you are alone.
Are you keeping me on the hook just
In case it turns to shit?
It wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t see
You everyday and have to pretend
That I do not feel what I feel.
But I guess your needing me as a
Friend is better than being a part
Time lover.
That I couldn’t take, for I want it
All or nothing.
Damn I wish you were ready to try
To see what it would be like with me.
If I am to love and lose, I really want
To love up close and from afar.


Filed under: Last Lost love — Tags: , , , , , , , , — dansideas @ 8:18 pm


Can I learn not to love you?
Can I learn not to want to be
Around you?
Will you call tonight?
That is a bigger question to
Me right now.
What does it mean if you call?
What does it mean if you don’t?
What do I do about either?
I begin to believe that my
Feelings really do not mean
Anything to you at all.
I have no idea of how to act
With you anymore.
Damn that one for opening
Her mouth.
Things were going nicely I
Thought until then.
Now I have no idea at all.
I am lost and have no where
To turn nor anyone to talk too.
About what is happening.
Again I must ask myself,
Can I learn not to love you?

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