Dansideas's Blog

July 28, 2009

Pain of belief

Just posted  at blogher and got to thinking about what I had to say about christian hypocrisies and a person I knew many years ago who went to therapy because she had big problems with her faith and what she felt and wanted to do. Now this young woman was brought up as a Catholic and believed all of the things she felt and wanted to do would condemn her to Hell. The world in the late 60’s and early 70’s was the time of hippies and free love and free thought, time to question everything there was about the life we were living. She wanted to be free to partake of this new world, but she felt so bad every time she did that it was driving her crazy with guilt. I always thought one was supposed to feel good about believing in a god, but here was just one case where belief caused pain. I know there are many more people like her out there in the world, for I have met many, shall we call them ex-catholics, who gave up that belief system for one reason or another. Most did not stop believing in a god, just the one the Catholics were pushing. I am glad to say that I keep hearing little tidbits that the Catholic Church is starting to open up its thought pattern about the world.

I just had a thought on the pain of belief. I knew my mother for 40 years and I never knew what she believed about god or gods, the subject never came up that I can remember. But when I joined the Navy at 17 and she had to sign the papers saying I could, she put down that my religion was one of the christian faiths. I do not remember which one, but I did ask her why she did that. She said that it just seemed like a good idea so no one would bother me about our lack of religion. I guess she did not want me to feel any pain of religion by not having any. Strange that while in boot-camp, going to religious services was mandatory for all. I wonder if I had had no religion on my papers if I could have gotten out of it? As it was, by taking the watch for others who wanted to go, I only had to go twice in the 3 months I was there. Odd as to why I remember that. I guess my personality disorder was active then and (hell it was from birth really) getting out of having to something I did not want to do meant something to me.

I do not know what happened with the young woman I was talking about, I hope she resolved her problems and lived a happy life one way or another. But I brought it up to show that having faith in the fairytale of god and gods is not always a good thing for some people.

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