Dansideas's Blog

June 16, 2009

End Dream

Filed under: dreams 2 — Tags: , , , , , , , , — dansideas @ 7:16 pm

END DREAM

Through the dream
And fantasy,
I see the emptiness
Coming toward me.
The blankness of the
Unending future.
Where are the things
I need to endure?
C.D.RANSOM

Into Madness

Filed under: dreams 2 — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — dansideas @ 7:10 pm

INTO MADNESS

Oh shit,
What nightmares!
To wake up crying and
Screaming,
Even in my dreams I
Try to tell you what
Is going on in my mind
And heart.
But not being able to
Is what is driving me
Insane.
DAMN IT ALL, WOMAN,
Why can’t you
Understand how much
I LOVE YOU!
How much I need your
Love in return,
My life is nothing but
One continual nightmare,
Day after day,
Night after night.
Deborah,
I do need you,
I wish to anything you
Could understand just
How much this is true,
And what I am going
Through.
To feel as if my brain
Is going to explode
Any second into a
Raving violent lunatic,
Like a mad dog going
Around in circles,
Foaming at the mouth,
Wanting to destory any
And all things that
Come in my path.
I’m not sure why I
Haven’t done this yet,
I have come so close,
And yet for some reason
Which seems beyond my
Control,
I manage to get to my
Pills,
The pills that keep
Me from doing what I
Don’t want to happen
To me.
I guess it’s only the
Hope that you will
Return to me one-day,
That you still love me,
As I love you more than
I love myself.
Without this one hope.
I have nothing.
I know you do not
Understand any of this,
Anymore than I could
When I almost destoryed
A young girl in the same
Manner when I was 21.
Life seems to full of
Wondrous new things too
Really be that deep in love.
It takes too much effort
And too much time from
Oneself.
But having found love,
Knowing that this is the
Only love you will
Ever have and that it
Is not being returned,
Can destory a person.
Believe me that this
Is true, I know,
For I am living it
Right now.
The day will more than
Likely come when enough
Time has passed,
That I will be numb
Enough to live some
Sort of life resembling
A normal happy life,
But it will be just a sham.
A total fake,
For living without you
Is not living at all,
It’s just an existence,
Waiting for death to
Come and end it all.
So my Loved One,
Tis time to try and
Go back to sleep,
And hope I spend a
Dreamless night.
For my dreams are
Worse than real life,
For in my dreams,
I dream of the things
I dare not think of
Durning the day,
The things that will
Push me over the edge
Of sanity,
Into madness.
C.D.RANSOM

I Must Wake

Filed under: dreams 2 — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — dansideas @ 6:36 pm

I MUST WAKE

Ah tis the morning
Light I perceive
Through these drug
Ladden eyelids,
Eyelids that will not
Open.
Mind control centers
Wanting to stay under
Covers of the darkness,
To hide as long as
Possible.
The body fighting to
Win the battle of
Wakefulness,
Strikes again and
Again into the darkness,
Causing light to spark
In black holes of life.
Each morning comes this
Acursed light,
And wakefulness to
Summon me to rise from
Death.
Tormenting me with
Dreams of her,
Who is gone from
My life and I still
Love.
From these horrid
Dreams I must wake,
For I cannot take the
Torture that they cause.
C.D.RANSOM

The Dream Is Not Real

Filed under: dreams 2 — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — dansideas @ 6:26 pm

THE DREAM IS NOT REAL

Now to sleep and dream
Of death,
Sweet death,
Where hope does lay
For this lost inner
Being of mine.
Praying not to return
For another time around,
If this be my first,
Then let it be also my
Last.
For I choose not to
Live in this falsity
And farce we generally
Call life.
Having found no reason
To Live,
Why then don’t I die,
As is my right and
Choice to do.
Come on mind,
Show the world,
Better still,
Show myself that the
Dream is not real!
Just lay down the
Burdens placed upon
Your shoulders,
And tell the world
To go fuck itself.
C.D.RANSOM

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