Dansideas's Blog

July 9, 2009

Biding Time

Filed under: Last Lost Love 2 — Tags: , , , , , , , , — dansideas @ 11:11 pm


You are not happy
Where you are now.
Just biding time
Until something
What will it take
To make you look
At me?


I Am Not Them

Filed under: Last Lost Love 2 — Tags: , , , , , , , , — dansideas @ 11:08 pm


With no one to give too.
I have nothing to give
For anyone else.
I stay alone now.
It feels better.
I am not them.
They are not me.
And with you there,
But not for me.
It feels like a waste
Of time.
Why be uncomfortable
There when I can be
Comfortable alone
At home.
This I know well for
I have spent most of
My time this way.
I am used to it and
Can stay out of trouble.
For there is no one for
Me to meet here.

No Smiles Effects

Filed under: Last Lost Love 2 — Tags: , , , , , , , , — dansideas @ 10:52 pm


I saw you tonight but got no smile.
Is that because he was there to
Maybe see what that smile would
Do for me?
Or is it that what almost happened
Wasn’t real to you as it was for me?
I begin to wonder if I was used to
Get his attention.
No, that can’t be for you had no idea
Of what would happen between us.
I had no idea of what I would learn
About my feelings for you.
What the Hell am I writing this
Stuff for?
Will you ever read it?
Do I want you to read it?
Things seem okay between you and
Him right now.
If things stay okay you will stay
With him.
And my feelings will be for not.
To have loved and lost without ever
Having been able to love—
I have no words to describe how it

One Is A Lonely Number

Filed under: Last Lost Love 2 — Tags: , , , , , , , , — dansideas @ 10:42 pm


I knew I was alone before, but.
I never knew just how alone I was.
I guess one gets used to being just one.
But with the thought of being three
And maybe even more for years to
Come being possible.
One now is a very lonely number.
The hours that could be spent
Together make the hours now
Spent just so much wasted time.
They are wasted only because I
Want to spend them with you.
Anything else seems useless.
My world has been standing still.
For the first time I see life as
Being something worthwhile to live.
A long wait this has been and I wish
To wait no longer.


Filed under: Last Lost Love 2 — Tags: , , , , , , , , — dansideas @ 10:32 pm


I sometimes truly think that you
Want to come to me.
I can feel your energy striving to
Reach out for me.
I think what will make us happy
Will upset all the others around
For we will gain and they will lose.


Filed under: Last Lost Love 2 — Tags: , , , , , , , , — dansideas @ 10:27 pm


Each day I withdraw
More from the little
World I have made
For myself here.
For I do not really
Like my little world
Much any more.
Strange that I found
What appears to be
My hearts desire in
It when I wasn’t even
Looking for it.
Not strange that I do
Not have my hearts
Desire, for that is the
Only thing that seems
Real in my world.
But my shrinking world
Is getting lonelier day
By day and the desire
To live in it gets less
And less.
Strange is it also that
My hearts desire turned
Out to be more than I
Ever thought it could or
Would be.

The Sun Moves

Filed under: Last Lost Love 2 — Tags: , , , , , , , , — dansideas @ 10:19 pm


The Sun rises.
I am alone.
The Sun moves.
I am alone.
The Sun sets.
I am alone.


Filed under: Last Lost Love 2 — Tags: , , , , , , , , — dansideas @ 10:15 pm


Tears fall as I watch an old
Love story movie.
The movie is 34 years old.
13 years younger than me
And I can still sing the songs.
The mother of the one I love
Was only about 8 or 9 then.
It would be 14 years before
She of my hearts desire was
Even born.
During which time I served
In the service, married and
Was a year from being
I have been alone since she
Was 4 months and a day old.
Have I been waiting all these
20 years for this?
Have the years been a training
Period for how to love you?
Strange is the thought that
You lived only a few miles
From me back then when I
Became free.
But I was not ready to love
Another and you were surely
Not ready.
But now, this day I love you
As Tony and Maria loved each
Other in that old movie.

A Mystery

Filed under: Last Lost Love 2 — Tags: , , , , , , , , — dansideas @ 10:02 pm


Darling, I hope I stay
A mystery in your
Heart of hearts.
For that means I will
Always be a part of
Your heart.

July 6, 2009

Wait Without Knowing

Filed under: Last Lost Love 2 — Tags: , , , , , , , , — dansideas @ 10:59 pm


You know your alone when you know
That you need somebody.
You know your really alone when
You find that somebody and cannot
Have them.
Yes, you never so alone as when
Your in love and alone in that love.
Not even when my Ex left me did I
Feel this alone and empty.
True this does not hurt like that did.
For this has no pain, just a total
Emptiness of knowing that there
Is nothing I can do but wait.
Wait without knowing what is going
To happen.

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