I MUST MAINTAIN
I must maintain my distance.
For I know you will try it
Again with —.
I know he will try to be better
This time.
I know he will fail to live up
To what you want.
Will you then wonder if I can
Be what you have dreamed of?
You set your men up to fail.
Will you try to do that with me?
I will not play games with you.
As much as you are able to
Weaken my defences,
I am strong enough still to be
Who I am at heart.
C.D.RANSOM
LOVE POEM 19
Smile with love in your eyes.
And I am lost that easily.
C.D.RANSOM
FOR MYSELF
NO, DAMN IT!
Do not do this with your heart.
If she had any real desire to be
With you,
She would have talked with you.
She cried to come home.
But to her family, friends and ex.
NOT YOU!
Not one word to you.
Strange, but as soon as you
Decided to let go of her in
Your mind,
She returns to your life.
I begin to believe that she is
Just one more torment for the
Ace of Spades to live through.
Remember,
She has read the words of your
Heart and soul.
“Nice paper work” was all that
Was said about it.
She knows what you feel.
And yet she has left you out of
The picture of her life.
REMEMBER THIS!
For if she wanted you,
She would have let you know!
Do not forget this!
Drive it into your mind!
For the heart is weak.
C.D.RANSOM
AGE PROBLEM
I finally really wish
I was 20 to 25 years
Younger.
For then the difference
In our ages wouldn’t be
A problem I know it to be.
Well there is nothing
That can be done about it.
Too bad, for I know it would
Have been wonderful anyway.
C.D.RANSOM
CAN’T STOP WRITING
Can I never stop this insistent
Writing that I do?
The words go nowhere.
The emotions go nowhere.
I just wate time, paper and ink.
No, I guess that’s not quite true.
The emotions do get eased when
The words finally end up in the
Computers memory.
But so much time is definitely
Wasted.
Hours are spent in the writing.
More hours are spent in the putting
What has been written into the
Computer.
And then I never read really read
Them again.
Well over 100 of these I have
Written now just because of
You.
In a round about way you are
Ahead of my ex-wife she has
Also about the same, but not
As many as you.
And you and I have yet to kiss
Or even hold hands.
Yes, you are definitely something
And someone special in my life.
I wonder why?
It things happen for a reason,
What reason are you in my life?
C.D.RANSOM
DEAD FAIRY TALE
Well I see I was right
In some respects.
At least in the way
Your thinking goes.
You are not here yet,
At least totally.
Sounds like this is
Just another false
Alarm.
You are thinking of
An old Him again if
You stay around.
I knew you would.
I knew I wasn’t an
Option in any plans
For your future.
I think I should ask
For my poems back.
They will be a liabilty
To you if you keep
Them and stay here.
Anyway, they have
Served no useful
Purpose.
It would make a good
Ending to what has
Been a waste of my
Time and emotions.
The fairy take is over.
We did not live together
Happily ever after.
THE END
C.D.RANSOM
THE END?
No, it never is The End.
The End is only a pausing point.
A level between the highs and
Lows of this thing called love.
Is it even real?
Something tells me yes.
But the only thing I truly know
Is that I truly know nothing.
C.D.RANSOM
FINALLY AN ANSWER
I have kept asking myself what
Or why do I think that I am in
Love this time?
And the answer finally has
Come to me.
It is the way I feel when I look
At you and the way I feel when
I look at you when you look at
Your child.
I have never felt this way before.
To love an adult and a child and
Want both.
It amazes me that I can feel
This way at all.
The love between a man and
A woman I can understand.
I now understand the love
Between an adult and a child.
It is something I thought I
Would never feel.
I know not if you will ever
Love me,
But I thank you for being alive
So I could learn this wonderful
Thing about myself.
C.D.RANSOM
THE MAGIC WAS BACK
A new day after a nights sleep.
Time enough to think about
Last night.
I find I cannot close and lock
My heart to you.
A few words and a smile and
All of that is gone in a moment.
As if nothing has happened
Since you left.
The old magic was once again
Back in the Wednesday night
Poker game.
I knew it was you that made it
Happen.
I hope you stay.
For you and your child make
The magic happen just by being
Alive and here.
C.D.RANSOM
I KNOW NOT
I know not why I
Bother.
I know you do not
Want me.
I guess it is good
That I say nothing.
Maybe we can both
Forget that I love you.
Yeah, maybe you can
And maybe I can act
Like nothing has
Ever happened
Between us at all.
Fuck, I know not
What to do.
For as it is now,
It would seem that
We have never known
Each other at all.
C.D.RANSOM
