The Ace And The Queen

THE ACE AND THE QUEEN

I have slipped back into
My child again.
For once again the Ace of
Spades has killed the
The Queen of Hearts.
I now know the reason for
My depressions and anger.
Ever since I was a child I
Have longed for love and
Affection.
And I am mad as Hell that
I haven’t had it yet.
How long must I wait for
What I want?
The longer I go without
The more the fury builds.
I guess I feel cheated out
Of something that I want.
It is no wonder that I am
Easily frustrated in my
Life.
I have had years and years
Of practice at it,
Ever since birth.
I guess that’s when it started.
And as I approach the age of
38 it seems to long to have
Been without it.
It does not suprise me that
I have fallen in love so often.
I am desperatley in need or
Want of what I do not have.
The question remains as to
Whether or not I will live
Long enough to get it.
If 80 is lets say a normal
Life span,
Then half my life is over.
And if the second half
Follows the first,
Which is likely,
Due to me being me.
Changes are not likely to
Start now.
Then little hope remains
For the future.
But I always hope.
For without hope,
There is nothing.
Nothing at all.
C.D.RAMSOM

Time Again

TIME AGAIN

Time again to breach
The wall.
Aim the heart toward
The fall.
Ride the white water
Of the river called
Emotion.
Bend over so the shaft
Can be eased with
Lotion.
Is it to be the same as
Before?
It would be cheaper to
Get a whore.
But there lies no
Satisfaction.
Only with love is there
The real reaction.
So onward to the battle
Of the sexes.
Even though I hate how
It vexes.
C.D.RANSOM

A Beginning Statement

A BEGINNING STATEMENT

Tell me dear woman,
Do you want me as I am?
I do not know who or
What I am now.
I can only live each day
As it comes upon me.
I will make no promises
To you about anything.
For I no longer believe
In what I once thought
To be true of me and
The world.
If you can handle such
A one as I,
Then I will most likely
Give myself to you.
But beware of feelings
You yourself have.
For we are much alike
You and I.
And I want no more hurt
In my life,
Neither yours or mine.
C.D.RANSOM

The Game

THE GAME

The game now begins.
The starting gate has
Opened and the race
Is on.
How poor away to say
That I now will try
To win your heart.
Ah but the question
Is,
Is it your heart or
Just your body that
I desire?
The floodgates of my
Various passions are
Open and letting the
Years of built up
Emotions run free.
But know that over all
Of these passions,
The deepest and largest
Desire is for someone
Who is mentally equal
To myself.
Someone who is not
Afraid to question the
Gods themselves over
Anything.
And tell them that they
Are wrong, if need be.
To question is the need
To know,
And knowing is nothing
More than faith,
Faith that what you
Think you know,
Is right and trueful.
Are you one to question?
Will you question with
Me in this world of
Second guessers?
C.D.RANSOM

Just A Short Note To Say

JUST A SHORT NOTE TO SAY

My child is hooked once again.
Who can I love when I’m not even
Happy about myself?
Almost anytime I get to a place
Where there are women to know,
I find one.
When will I find the right one?
One who is pretty and sexy?
Loves to make love in all the ways?
Has a beatiful body from head to toes?
And the MIND to go with it?
C.D.RANSOM

Ah, The Women

AH, THE WOMEN

Ah, the women are surley
My down fall.
For I know not how to
Find the ones that are
Good for me.
Through out the years
Since I started liking
The female sex,
I do not believe I
Have ever really gone
After the right ones.
I have never disliked
The female sex like
Most males have when
They were children.
Even in kindergarden
I was in love with the
Young girls who were
Not in love with me.
And on and on it goes
Even into middle age.
I love women and sex.
But I only really enjoy
Sex with the woman I
Am in love with.
I hate trying to play
The game of meeting
New ladies.
For I am really very
Shy to start off with.
I do build up later
Both emotionally and
Sexually.
Nothing would please
Me more than to settle
Down with a very
Beautiful and sexual
Woman.
But how in this world
Does a shy starter get
Started?
Someone tell me please.
C.D.RANSOM

Out Again

OUT AGAIN

Down for the count,
But where did the
Knock-out come from?
I sware I never saw
The punch.
Down and out.
Knowing what I am
Trying to do.
But lost in this haze
Of confusion.
Like being one step
Outside myself.
I can see what I am
Doing but it doesn’t
Seem to be me.
What power do you
Women have that you
Can do this to me?
Must I never step
Into the ring of
Love again?
Is the life of
Loneliness the only
One that is safe?
Is celibacy to be the
Way of my life forever?
I guess I would rather
Be celibate than to
Have sexual relations
Without love.
For sex without love
Is nothing more than
Masturbation.
And masturbation is
Unsatisfactory as a
Substitute for love.
How many times must
I be counted out
Before I leave the ring?
As it is I seldom
Try to enter that ring.
Maybe I should take
Up wrestling instead.
C.D.RANSOM

New Loves

NEW LOVES

With a growing fondness
Of knowing.
I watch each tender new
Love bud into life.
Stepping lightly with
Careful steps,
For memories of past
Heartbreakes still fill
My soul with fear.
But with bold hope I
Still go forth.
C.D.RANSOM

Loves Broken Record

LOVES BROKEN RECORD

“I love you” spoke
The dying man to the
Dream.
As she walked away
Into the mist of
Yesterday.
Yet another dream to
Add to loves broken
Record.
C.D.RANSOM