Tiger Woods

Ok who really cares just how many women Tiger is getting? What does it have to do with how good a golfer he is? His golf is important, his love life is not. Get your noses out of his business. Ha isn’t doing anything that hasn’t been done by damn near every one any how.

gold dredging in California

Well once again the uninformed public has won a battle that they know nothing about. In California they have put a stop to gold dredging. I was a gold dredger in California for some 15 years and had to fight the Department of Fish and Game for most of those 15 years about what dredging was doing to the river and the salmon fish. They did an environmental report which supposed to show just how bad it was for the fish, but that report never once proved anything bad was happening to the fish, in fact in many places it said it was doing some good for the fish. I went to meetings with the DFG and not one person there had ever dredged or been under the water to see what was going on. Not one of the people who had made the environmental report for DFG had either. Some of the data was years old. The words that kept coming up were; maybe, could, might, possible and so on, not one word that said YES, it is harmful to the fish. Well the miners beat the DFG that time, but it now seems they have lost out to the same scare tactics that were used back in the 80’s.

Strange that it is the Indians who have gotten this passed in Calif. It is the Indians who use gill nets  and catch thousands of salmon each year before they get to the spawning grounds. But do the Indians have to stop, not that I have heard of. They did stop the salmon fishing in most of the rivers in Calif, I understand, this at least saved thousands of more fish who could get to the spawning grounds, one good thing done for the fish. There are still the commercial fishermen out in the ocean who catch thousands of the salmon before they even get into the rivers, enough said about them. How many of the dams built in Calif. have fish ladders, not many I understand, so how can the salmon get up river without them, they can’t, but is anything being done about that? I have heard that Oregon is going to remove some its dams so  the salmon can return to there spawning grounds, be nice if Calif. would do the same. But I doubt that will ever happen.

There were and are mining laws from the Department of Fish and Game that wont allow the gold dredgers to dredge in spawning grounds already, no laws about fishermen walking in and over those same spawning grounds. There are season for dredging for almost every river in the country, so the fish wont be bothered during there spawning time, so how can dredging harm the fish if one is not dredging at that time. I used to mine on the Trinity River in Trinity County, Calif. were there was no season for dredging. But I was on the main river far from the spawning areas. I can say from experience that nothing I did ever stopped any salmon from getting passed me and on its way up river. Many of the salmon would rest in the holes I made under the water. Have always wondered as to how the environmentalists thought that dredging was causing stress to the fish, when it was ok to catch and release those fish. I would think that being hooked and fought until one is to tired to fight any more just might be a stressing thing to a fish. After all the fish need all of there strength to fight their way up rivers and streams to get to there spawning grounds, but I never once heard a thing about this from the DFG or the environmentalists.

There was talk about the turbidity of the water behind a dredge, turbidity is how much sediment is in the water. But Mother Nature on her own does fill the river with turbidity with the run off from heavy rains many times a year, even during the salmon runs. The Trinity dam lets go with a huge amount of sediment each year to keep the dam from filling up with the stuff, most often during the salmon run times.  One thing I can say for certain about dams and dredging, dams keep the rivers in a dead state by not allowing the needed water to clean out the sediment and turn in over and all around. The river bottoms become dead areas of movement, dredging at least turns this stuff over and gets it moving again just like natured intended. And yet the environmentalists and the DFG think that stopping dredging will save the salmon. Here I should mention just how much lead, from the fishermen lead weights and mercury left over from the 49’ers, is being removed by the gold dredgers, is there any other way this poison is being removed from our rivers? I believe there is something else going here, just what I am not sure, it could be that the big mining companies don’t want the competition from the small miners so they can get more money for their gold, after all if no small miners can get gold, there is just that much less on the market. Cannot say this the truth, but it does make sense, doesn’t it?

Enough for now on this subject, but if you want freedom to stay alive in this country, you had better help keep the small gold miners alive in the areas where you live. In all of California there were only some 3500 dredge permits issued and lots of those were people from out of state, that is not vary many for an entire state, just how much damage do they really think could be done by that amount? Come on folks, think, use those minds and look at the real facts on this subject. Dredging is good for the local economies and good for the rivers.

Worry

Have always felt that to worry was and is a waste of time. But today I am uneasy as my wife who just had eye surgery last week is having problems. Yesterday when the stitch was removed, it didn’t come out as it should have and caused a problem, so today she must go back in for more surgery on that eye. Whether I worry or not, the out come will be the same. But still, it bothers me to want the best for her and knowing that nothing I do or want makes any difference.

To me worry is the cause of most of the illness we have in this country. Worry is stress and stress kills the mind and body. The body is or ought to be a finely tuned machine, start stressing that machine and parts start to brake down. Always loved that Adel Davis, a health nut about eating right to keep from getting cancer and such, died from cancer. Yule Kippens,(not sure how that name is spelled)  another health nut who said you could eat pine nuts all the time on TV also died from cancer. One of the Kellogg’s brothers, the one who was a health nut died I think from a heart attack. So much for being healthy. There are people who drink and smoke everyday of their lives and live to be a hundred, others walk out from passing a physcial with flying colors and die outside the doctors office.  I believe that the stress of worrying about keeping from getting cancer is what caused the cancer of those health nuts.

My sister is an ex-smoker and I never hear the end of her telling me Ishould quit. Our mother died from lung cancer, but she had quit smoking some 20 years or so before, so much for being healthier by quiting. Some say if it is in the genes you will get it. That is where worry and stress come into picture for me. When it shows up, you can stop worrying, there is nothing to worry about anymore, I guess one could start worry about how soon one might die though. But at least one doesn’t have to worry about getting cancer any more.

Worry can also go un-noticed in ones life. The day I told my brother that he had out lived our father, you could see the tension drop right out of his face and body. I don’t think he was even aware that he had that worry in him. I sure didn’t know it. But worry and tension can hide within and eat away at the life force of a person. So long ago I quit worrying about things as best I could. What happens will happen. I always hope for the best, expect the worst and accept what happens. Can’t really say it could have been worse, cause it wasn’t, can’t say it could have been better cause it wasn’t, it is as it is.

Have always wondered about those who pray to a god for the best out come and then don’t get it. If it goes right for them they can say a god answered their prayers, but what reason can they have for a god not answering that prayer? Does god think they are not worthy? Is it the plan for god to be taking a soul into heaven despite what the person or people praying want? God moves in mysterious ways is just a why of saying one doesn’t know and one can keep believing any how. Of course if one puts the out come in a gods hands, one need not worry about it, that at least is good for ones health I’d say. So I have found one good reason for the belief in a god.

One can fall from a three story building and live, one can fall off a foot stool and die, no rhyme or reason to it. When ones number is up, that is it. But I have to wonder about that. I had by-pass surgery some 11 years ago, so the question is, did I cheat death by doing that? Am I living on borrowed time? Considering the over all out come, I am not sure that death might not have been a better deal for me. Sure I have gotten to spend these many years with the woman I love, but the side effect I have to live with is mean to me. Before I had the surgery, I could handle the heat and cold of this world, now I cannot. I am trapped indoors most of the time because it is too hot or too cold for me to go out and do the things I used to do and still want to do. Alive, but a prisoner from living life, a fair trade? I had a choice at the time before the surgery. Spend what time the doctors thought I had left with my love or chance death on the table and lose that time, or do the surgery and have years with my love or lose her by dieing on the table. I tease my love with that, the old Chinese saying that if you save a persons life, you are responsible for that life. I did the operation because she wanted me to do it, she was willing to gamble my life away for a chance that she would have more years with me. Now to make this story a little more interesting, the time frame for this decision was less than 12 hours, the doctors didn’t I would last the night if didn’t have the surgery the next morning, I had a nurse with me all night just in case. How did I feel at the time, well I felt just fine, I couldn’t have said I had a problem in the world, no pain, no heart attacks, no nothing really to say I was about to die. But, I did have one completely closed main artery to the heart and one main 95% blocked off, I didn’t mess around with all of the little ones, just 2 of the 3 main ones. Anyhow, with that being the case, that is why the doctors thought I could go at any second, and bumped two people out of the way so I could have that surgery first the next morning.

Worry was not a part of that whole deal, either I live or I die, either way was alright with me once I decided to do it. Death does not scare me, It will be the end of my questions about ????? About what? Why we are here, is there a god or gods? Is there a point to all of this? I can only hope it might give me the answers, but no one knows, do they? Another reason for one not to worry, it really doesn’t really matter what is next, we have to go anyway, there is no choice about that. Sooner or later we will find out what’s on the other side of life. I am at this point not in a hurry to get there, I am still curious about what the human race will do next. I hope to see some growth in the mind set of mankind, but I doubt it. Still watching the History and Discovery Channels on TV gives me hope that man might yet grow up, for they do have shows about life and ask the questions that I ask. Be nice if they could really come up with some answers though.

A foot note here, just heard that my wife’s second eye surgery went just fine. So no “worry” there, it went as it went, lucky it was good, glad it was good too.

sad thought

Yup like I thought, mindless souls bloging their useless lives away. Not thinking just doing. Try to stimulate the mind and like children they turn their heads and look away and yawn. I was afraid I might find this when I started here, didn’t think it would happen so soon. Had hope people would really respond to my views on god and gods, but wrong. Guess I was just kidding myself again. Sort of like I did every time I thought I had found the right girl to love. Oh well, I have other ideas I want to get out to the world and will do so, even if no one reads them. At least I can say I tried.

Post Script

Post Script

Though these are the last three poems, that was one more that said good-bye to this last lost love. It was set a drift upon a river in a little box and I watched it go down the river until it could be seen no more.  I sent my heart and soul with it and that ended it all. I do not remember what it said nor do I want to.

I Think Not

I THINK NOT

Twin of my soul?
I think not.
If it were true,
You would know what
I feel and care about
Those feelings.
But you do not even
Give me looks that
Acknowledge that I
Am even in your
Presence.
Do you hope that I
Will some how
Disappear from your
Life?
I have no idea as to
What you are even
Thinking or feeling.
I find that I haven’t
A clue at to who you
Are now.
I wish I could seperate
The dream I fell in
Love with from the
Person I now see.
C.D.RANSOM

Love Is Not

LOVE IS NOT

Stop writing Asshole!
It is time to ignore
That which ignores
You.
Set your heart free.
If it wanted you,
You would have it.
Love is not for you.
Forget that such a
Thing exist.
It is all just a
Nightmare.
Someday it will be
Over.
C.D.RANSOM

3-24-96

3-24-96

NO MORE.
NO MORE.
Must stop
This writing.
Until this love
Is reciprocated.
I do not give a damn
About what I feel
If it is not.
NOW STOP.
NO MORE WRITING.
C.D.RANSOM

I Must Maintain

I MUST MAINTAIN

I must maintain my distance.
For I know you will try it
Again with —.
I know he will try to be better
This time.
I know he will fail to live up
To what you want.
Will you then wonder if I can
Be what you have dreamed of?
You set your men up to fail.
Will you try to do that with me?
I will not play games with you.
As much as you are able to
Weaken my defences,
I am strong enough still to be
Who I am at heart.
C.D.RANSOM

Love Poem 19

LOVE POEM 19

Smile with love in your eyes.
And I am lost that easily.
C.D.RANSOM